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Jul. 7th, 2004 01:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
percival Ship of Fools, the Christian web site, has a thread about taking care of the elderly. On this thread, tortuf, one of the "shipmates", posted the following which I found quite helpful.
Posted 03 July, 2004 23:48
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I am a lawyer. A substantial portion of my practice is elder care. If someone in Nashville needs an emergency conservatorship I am likely to be involved one way or another. Likewise, I spend a good deal of time in assisted living centers and nursing homes.
Here we go, confession time. Care in these places is not perfect. This is because the people who run the places, and the people who work in the places are human. I will say that the administrators I know truly care about their charges and work their butts off to make sure their residents get the best care possible. As Sabine observed, a lot of the care givers are paid in the single digits. The old saying about you get what you pay for works in the case of care givers. That being said, many of the care givers I know work where they work because they genuinely like the residents.
Would care by the family be the ideal? I cannot say I believe that to be the case. First, in an era where two income families is the necessary norm, an elderly person who needs help with ADL's (activities of daily living) needs help when the adults are at work at least as much as mornings and evenings, if not more so. What happens then?
Second, the level of time, energy, and expertise needed to take care of aging persons is greater than you can imagine. Additionally, a parent whose mind still sees their child as a little kid is not apt to take well to that same "kid" bossing them around. Let me assure you that bossing is sometimes necessary.
Third, the toll upon the entire caregiving family can be greater, and deeper, than you can imagine. I can testify from personal experience. Think hard before you expose your children to your parent who is suffering from dementia.
Fourth, assisted living centers are quite nice. They are not nursing homes.
Fifth, and finally, if your family member needs a nursing home I will bet big money you are not prepared, or qualified, to properly care for that family member. Love is not enough.
It is all well and good to harken back fondly to an era when family took care of family. That was then. This is now. We have a population that lives longer, with worse medical problems, than any other time in history. That changes things.
(posted with tortuf's permission)
Posted 03 July, 2004 23:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am a lawyer. A substantial portion of my practice is elder care. If someone in Nashville needs an emergency conservatorship I am likely to be involved one way or another. Likewise, I spend a good deal of time in assisted living centers and nursing homes.
Here we go, confession time. Care in these places is not perfect. This is because the people who run the places, and the people who work in the places are human. I will say that the administrators I know truly care about their charges and work their butts off to make sure their residents get the best care possible. As Sabine observed, a lot of the care givers are paid in the single digits. The old saying about you get what you pay for works in the case of care givers. That being said, many of the care givers I know work where they work because they genuinely like the residents.
Would care by the family be the ideal? I cannot say I believe that to be the case. First, in an era where two income families is the necessary norm, an elderly person who needs help with ADL's (activities of daily living) needs help when the adults are at work at least as much as mornings and evenings, if not more so. What happens then?
Second, the level of time, energy, and expertise needed to take care of aging persons is greater than you can imagine. Additionally, a parent whose mind still sees their child as a little kid is not apt to take well to that same "kid" bossing them around. Let me assure you that bossing is sometimes necessary.
Third, the toll upon the entire caregiving family can be greater, and deeper, than you can imagine. I can testify from personal experience. Think hard before you expose your children to your parent who is suffering from dementia.
Fourth, assisted living centers are quite nice. They are not nursing homes.
Fifth, and finally, if your family member needs a nursing home I will bet big money you are not prepared, or qualified, to properly care for that family member. Love is not enough.
It is all well and good to harken back fondly to an era when family took care of family. That was then. This is now. We have a population that lives longer, with worse medical problems, than any other time in history. That changes things.
(posted with tortuf's permission)
