Feminism and the SAHM
Feb. 11th, 2006 01:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
percivalHere is a great piece on feminism and the working mum/SAHM debate. Even if I don't share Jo's political convictions, I fully support her call for a change of mind. Here's a great quote:
"It all boils down to valuing human lives, inner as well as economic-sphere. Female as well as male, child as well as adult. And there's plenty of talk, but one only has to watch our society's actions to see what we -- or at least those in power -- really believe. Don't buy it! Don't buy the idea that having a career necessarily means shortchanging your children and is unbecoming to you as a woman! Don't buy the idea that staying out of the workforce to raise your children is the anti-intellectual, anti-feminist option and worthy of ridicule and dismissal! Don't buy the idea that if you have to work because you can't otherwise keep up, it's because of some flaw on your part!"
As for me, I don't work because I have to, I work because I want to; I love and need the particular kind of intellectual stimulation I get from research. However, when our daughter arrived, several things surprised me:
Our daughter is growing by leaps and bounds. Two days ago, she stood, supported only by holding the rails of her cot. Another development is separation anxiety: when I leave, even for a short time, she misses me. She is not happy to be left wiht others anymore. When my parents came over, they had agreed to look after her for two afternoons and one full day (cinema with my husband, dentist appointment, work). She was very difficult to settle or inconsolable throughout, and refused to take a bottle from them. This is a huge change: at Christmas, she happily accepted 7oz of formula from my mother, and my mother is the person who first got her to take a bottle when she was six weeks old. The only person who our daughter will accept as a carer is my husband. I am overjoyed to see that the three (!) of us have bonded so well, but at the same apprehensive at leaving her in nursery. I've already asked for more settling in sessions, and we'll wield the full mojo of our flexible hours to make sure our darling baby is eased into her new environment gently.
It's really strange, and I'm still not used to the fact, but I'm her MOTHER. I am for her what my mother is for me.
WOW.
"It all boils down to valuing human lives, inner as well as economic-sphere. Female as well as male, child as well as adult. And there's plenty of talk, but one only has to watch our society's actions to see what we -- or at least those in power -- really believe. Don't buy it! Don't buy the idea that having a career necessarily means shortchanging your children and is unbecoming to you as a woman! Don't buy the idea that staying out of the workforce to raise your children is the anti-intellectual, anti-feminist option and worthy of ridicule and dismissal! Don't buy the idea that if you have to work because you can't otherwise keep up, it's because of some flaw on your part!"
As for me, I don't work because I have to, I work because I want to; I love and need the particular kind of intellectual stimulation I get from research. However, when our daughter arrived, several things surprised me:
- I would not have wanted to go back to work full time - I'd rather have become a SAHM
- My daughter has a primal need for me whose strength discombombulates me
- When my child smiles, my whole being lights up
- Even though she is the child I least wanted when I was trying to conceive (a girl with my colouring), I am now honoured, proud, and completely over the moon with my beautiful Junior Mouse.
Our daughter is growing by leaps and bounds. Two days ago, she stood, supported only by holding the rails of her cot. Another development is separation anxiety: when I leave, even for a short time, she misses me. She is not happy to be left wiht others anymore. When my parents came over, they had agreed to look after her for two afternoons and one full day (cinema with my husband, dentist appointment, work). She was very difficult to settle or inconsolable throughout, and refused to take a bottle from them. This is a huge change: at Christmas, she happily accepted 7oz of formula from my mother, and my mother is the person who first got her to take a bottle when she was six weeks old. The only person who our daughter will accept as a carer is my husband. I am overjoyed to see that the three (!) of us have bonded so well, but at the same apprehensive at leaving her in nursery. I've already asked for more settling in sessions, and we'll wield the full mojo of our flexible hours to make sure our darling baby is eased into her new environment gently.
It's really strange, and I'm still not used to the fact, but I'm her MOTHER. I am for her what my mother is for me.
WOW.
