siblings

[percival]

I'm currently reading Frank J. Sulloway's (sp?) Born to Rebel.
As an only child, I'd like to ask your opinion of the theories he proposes.

Basically, firstborns are far more conscientious and less open to experience.
They also tend to be more aggressive and extroverted, and somewhat more neurotic.
Firstborns copy their parents/turn to their parents a lot.
Laterborns are gentler, more introverted, and definitely more open to new experiences.

The reason he gives is that each child looks for his/her own family niche. This will be an important influence on his/her personality; the second highest (?) after innate characteristics. Since birth rank is a powerful influence on the type of niche available, it's a good predictor of various personality traits. He even maintains that it's a better predictor than gender!

What do you think about this?

Comments

feedback from two generations

[sourcebook.livejournal.com]

I'm the first of three and am less aggressive and extrovert, but more neurotic than my brother. Similar disposition to my mother, whereas my brother has similar disposition to our father. I see myself as less conscientious and more open to experience than my younger brother. So, not much joy there.

Howeever, my children follow the pattern you describe slightly better. First-born is aggressive, extrovert, neurotic, conscientious, but quite open to experiences. Similar to his mother in character. Second boy is quiet, introverted, gentler and somewhat conventional/avoids the unknown.

Not sure whether this helps. I suspect there are too many other variables at play for your guy's generalisations to hold true in many cases.

Regards,

Mark

Re: feedback from two generations

[perceval.livejournal.com]

indeed there are ...
sex, age, parents' attitudes, relationship with parents ...
there are lots of factors at play, and quite a bit of random variation.

It's interesting that both you and your eldest are similar to your mothers.
This confirms Sulloway's hypothesis of how these differences develop - you're more like your
parents, and more like the parent that has the most influence over you, namely the mother.

does this make sense?

percival

Firstborn

[swampfaye.livejournal.com]

I think birth order does play an important (but not vital) part in personality. I'm eldest. I'm aggressive, extroverted - but I wouldn't say I was cautious to new experiences - in fact, I think my obsessive nature throws me from new passion to new passion - scrapbooking, paper art, languages, school - I can't get enough and I burn out on each before I ever really "finish" and if I weren't LDS - I'd have been a chain smoking alcoholic.

I am a LOT like my father. I am much nicer and I'm really hardly anything like my mother - and I turn to her a lot. But I see much more of my father in me and he and I were close growing up. He turns to me a lot.

All of my family is extroverted though.

Re: Firstborn

[sourcebook.livejournal.com]

I wonder if obsessive is a firstborn thing? Your passion burn out description sounds very familiar. My current hot buttons - tango, writing and LJ surfing.

Re: Firstborn

[swampfaye.livejournal.com]

could be... i see the same trend in my son.

[queenriley.livejournal.com]

I don't know how much this will help, but I have 3 versions for you. First, myself. I'm the youngest. I'm shy. I'm extremely introverted. I am not open to most new experiances, though I try them because I know I should or I do it for others. I am very sensitive, very gentle, very softspoken. My older sister is open to anything. She is not shy. She is quite extroverted. She is loud. She is outspoken. She's a lot like my mother, especially in how outgoing they both are. I'm almost a personality carbon copy of my father, especially in the sense that neither of us would ever leave the house and interact with other people if we didn't have to (except my temper, which is like my mother).

My husband is the oldest of three. None of his siblings is softspoken or quiet. However, he is much more outgoing than both of them. He is loud and boisterous, though I'm not sure how much of that is firstborn and how much is his ADHD. He has a tendancy to be brash and can hurt people's feelings without meaning to or even realizing he's doing it. My sister and mother do the same. Actually, thinking about it, my mother is an only child. My father is the youngest of 10.

And then we have my daughter. She's outspoken. She'll try anything. She's much more determined than I ever was to succeed. She's a people magnet and for the most part, loves the attention. She is shy only around large and strange men.

So I guess it does somewhat follow the theory. :)

[awelkin.livejournal.com]

I am the second child.

Most people peg me as the eldest, but following the description you have outlined, I am my family's black sheep, and it fits. I am introverted and open to new experiences. I am fairly aggressive, but have been becoming more gentler as life progresses.

My older brother is a perfect example of my dysfunctional family. He is not only neurotic, but he is every bit as deluded as my mom and dad. He's copied their behavior down to the point of emulating abuse and creepiness. Extroverted? Probably not? Aggressive and neurotic? Yeah! It's the psychology of the book gone bad.

I just have bad press for being the eldest because I'm responsible, which is something people often associate with being the eldest. Your Dr. Sulloway seems a little wiser.

Catherine

[piperx.livejournal.com]

How very interesting. Many years ago, I read an article addressing the compatibility of romantic matches based on birth order. For example, younger brothers of sisters tend to be more intuitive and would do well with younger sisters of sisters who tend to be moody and emotional. That type of thing. Argh, I wish I knew where that article was. I think there is a lot to be said for behavior and personality being influenced by birth order. Of course, there are always exceptions.

I fit into the model somewhat in that I am the youngest of three and the most open to new experiences. My brother, the oldest lived at home the longest. When he finally did move out, he bought a house in the same city. I, on the other hand, moved to the other side of the country soon after graduation. My cousin who is the youngest of four, is the same way. I think we're both very open to new experience and adventure.

It's hard to say that any of us are the extroverts of the family. We're all very introverted. I do think my brother looks to my parents the most. Not sure about the neurotic/agressive aspects though.

My husband is the firstborn of many, many siblings, step siblings and half siblings. He is extremely outgoing but very gentle, somewhat conscientious and not at all neurotic. His younger sister is definitely more conscientious so this is one case in which gender wins out over birth order.

I believe it is a statistical fact that there is a higher tendency for people in leadership positions to be firstborn or only children (perfectionists?).

So what is the significance of the title? Is he saying something about rebelliousness?

~Piper