for chickadilly

[percival]

One of the hardest aspects to swallow for me in Buddhism is Right Speech. This means not to malign and badmouth others, not to be snarky, and to think twice before you speak. (It's difficult to even think once, but never mind.)

One of the bases of the principle of Right Speech is that every living being deserves love, respect, and compassion, no matter whether s/he is arrogant, vile, hateful, or unfair.

It's not up to people to judge others, but to try and understand with compassion even those who are total and utter jerks.

Again, what I've said in this post is a consequence of my spiritual beliefs; it's by no means a normative ethical statement.

Roight?

Comments

[guttaperk.livejournal.com]

For me, my success with right speech is directly linked to my success with right thought.

If I allow my mind to become focussed in the wrong directions, sooner or later that will be reflected in thought or action to some degree, like night follows day.


For me, the most difficult aspect of this is the condemnation of "idle talk". What is idle?

[chickadilly.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm confused by this post. Are you agreeing with me? Disagreeing with me? Somewhere in the middle?

I feel pretty horrible about the whole thing ... and I'm upset because ... well I don't even know if I can put it into words.

[chickadilly.livejournal.com]

Nevermind I get it now. (I think.) I just got your comment from my other post (my mail has been slow so they don't usually come right away.)

I was feeling really frustrated because I felt like people thought I was making excuses for him when I said in the very post that I wasn't.

I guess what really bothers me is that, given what he has said about his childhood, he's been raised in this station of ignorance and for whatever reason won't elevate himself from it. That's his own fault but it worries me to think that if he has children ... well ... it will just start that cycle all over again. The father teaching the son to hate others (as well as animals) and it's just sad.

I cried when I read abotu the dogs. I really did. I'm filled with anger than anyone could do that and be so callous about it (to make sick jokes about it)and ... well.

You're the only person who seemed to completely understand what I was trying to say for just the sake of it. Thank you. It's not that I think what he does it right, it's not right at all, but I do find it sad that he chooses to live in his own ignorance. (And I hope that made some sense.)

[cynthia-black.livejournal.com]

I suppose the Christian equivalent is the verse from the Old Testament (can't remember exactly where at the moment) where it says: From the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

So yes, guttaperk is right, Right Speech flows from Right Thought. It's possible to think one way and speak another at times, with concentration and effort, but what we really think/feel is what pops out under stress. If we deal better with what's inside, the outer expression becomes easier and more consistent.

[perceval.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's why awelkin is so inspiring, because she actually managed to BREAK that cycle of passing hate onto the next generation.

And trying to understand is NOT making excuses - it's just been warped that way by people who like to shift all the blame for somebody's state of mind to their parents and their environment. This trick allows them to dis-own their pathology. Will healing come from that? I guess not. But that would be for psychologists to comment on ...

[buongiornodaisy.livejournal.com]

It is a teaching of Christ, too, (and of St. Paul, I believe) to treat and respect others with kindess regardless who or what they are. His teaching on that was actually last week's Gospel reading (Luke 6:27-36), which my priest called an "ouch" Gospel (since it's one of those teachings that are difficult to keep).

buddying ...

[cerise-noir.livejournal.com]

Ha! I've read all the commentary on this page with great interest and relief because all the comments have some interesting points and a common understanding, that the difficulty with remaining true to how you are cuts across all cultural/religious boundaries.

I live in a progressively hostile environment when my person is assaulted literally and a regular basis (they broke into my car 4 times since last year to now, even though they took everything the first time they still maliciously distroyed my property)

It is hard to hold compassionate thoughts to the man i watch destroy my car on good friday morning almost one year ago now. it's been difficult but i'm determined not to allow these other people to control who *I* want to be, and interrupt *how* i want to live. There is nothing easy about it, but as i learn to release my emotional bonds to situations and objects in my life it gets easier as i get old. I've lost everything i held dear, this is but another bump in the road, i'll tell you when my rear wheels has cleared the mount.

peace

[sannalim.livejournal.com]

You, my dear, are an utter sweetie. I am sorry that I upset you last night. I shouldn't have allowed myself to give in to the temptation to be snarky to Corgi--especially since I don't read her very often. I appreciate what you said, and will endeavor to keep it in mind. You have called me to repentance; I would do well to be more like you in this arena.

(And no, I didn't sleep well. Part of that was because I spent the night in lab on the floor underneath my desk, sleeping in 40-120 minute naps--that's why I was able to be online making trouble at that hour of the night in the first place. I went back and apologized to Corgi, because when I got up in the morning I felt terrible about my behaviour.)

[perceval.livejournal.com]

well, people do give in to temptation, it's human. But I really appreciate that you were able to admit having been a little bit too snarky - that shows true class.

love,

perceval