Baby musings
Nov. 11th, 2005 06:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
percivalLife with my daughter is strange.
Being a massage therapist, you would think I'd be massaging her left, right and centre. Not so - I've felt a strange reluctance to massaging her. At first, it was finding a time when she was awake and alert enough, then I didn't want her to get upset during massage. And of course, a baby massage course is not the most relaxing of places. I guess I kept associating baby massage with lots of screaming kids, and me trying to follow the instructor, tending to my daughter, trying to hold everything together. I did my first baby massage course when baby was four weeks old - probably way too early. I found it hard to find time to practice at home, and I hated the relaxation beforehand. Didn't do it at home (Hey, my baby's in the mood! I need to start NOW!!!! I don't have time to friggin' RELAX, I need to run get a mat/oil/crank up the heating), hated it in class (I've stripped my baby down and laid her onto a mat. She will only stay calm and quiet for so long, you know.)
But then, during Quaker Meeting, I got an epiphany. Whenever baby starts whimpering, I immediately tense up, more badly than I thought I did. I saw myself as a pretty relaxed mum, but not so. Actually, far from so. I've been known to leave off that coat and only put it on in extremis because she doesn't like being dressed. I've equally been known to take her to massage in a thick coat and her pj's, because I wanted to minimise the protest involved in dressing, undressing, and dressing her again. I sometimes avoided topping and tailing her for days, because getting topped and tailed can be quite distressing for her, as well.
When I'm tense, that is, and don't take the time to prepare properly.
All these activities are fine (dressing is sort of fine) when I'm relaxed and can take my time.
Now, I get more massage time. I either integrate the strokes into whatever I'm doing, do them over clothing, when I'm washing her, in the bath. When I feel like it, I get her undressed to her nappy, put a terry underneath her, whip on the oil, and off we go. When we're both in the mood, I'm relaxed. As for massaging her before/after her bath - you know, we top and tail her a lot, bathe her 1-2 times a week. I know, I'm a shite mother. But her skin hasn't suffered; it's smooth and creamy.
The catalyst for this has been baby yoga. Because baby yoga is basically playing with your baby, and doesn't involve any prep or fuss, it helped me far more to relax and bond than baby massage did.
On the other hand, I've been getting into music again. I hated singing in public (long story), but now I'm singing to her all the time. I'm even considering buying a piano. It doesn't have to be expensive; I'm eyeing a keyboard that plays a bit like a piano. Let's face it, I'm never going to be a concert pianist. I had 11 years of lessons, you know. Time to share some music with my baby, and to get back into the groove. The catalyst was her Symphony in Motion mobile. I heard two of the pieces and you know - I used to be able to play them.
Being a massage therapist, you would think I'd be massaging her left, right and centre. Not so - I've felt a strange reluctance to massaging her. At first, it was finding a time when she was awake and alert enough, then I didn't want her to get upset during massage. And of course, a baby massage course is not the most relaxing of places. I guess I kept associating baby massage with lots of screaming kids, and me trying to follow the instructor, tending to my daughter, trying to hold everything together. I did my first baby massage course when baby was four weeks old - probably way too early. I found it hard to find time to practice at home, and I hated the relaxation beforehand. Didn't do it at home (Hey, my baby's in the mood! I need to start NOW!!!! I don't have time to friggin' RELAX, I need to run get a mat/oil/crank up the heating), hated it in class (I've stripped my baby down and laid her onto a mat. She will only stay calm and quiet for so long, you know.)
But then, during Quaker Meeting, I got an epiphany. Whenever baby starts whimpering, I immediately tense up, more badly than I thought I did. I saw myself as a pretty relaxed mum, but not so. Actually, far from so. I've been known to leave off that coat and only put it on in extremis because she doesn't like being dressed. I've equally been known to take her to massage in a thick coat and her pj's, because I wanted to minimise the protest involved in dressing, undressing, and dressing her again. I sometimes avoided topping and tailing her for days, because getting topped and tailed can be quite distressing for her, as well.
When I'm tense, that is, and don't take the time to prepare properly.
All these activities are fine (dressing is sort of fine) when I'm relaxed and can take my time.
Now, I get more massage time. I either integrate the strokes into whatever I'm doing, do them over clothing, when I'm washing her, in the bath. When I feel like it, I get her undressed to her nappy, put a terry underneath her, whip on the oil, and off we go. When we're both in the mood, I'm relaxed. As for massaging her before/after her bath - you know, we top and tail her a lot, bathe her 1-2 times a week. I know, I'm a shite mother. But her skin hasn't suffered; it's smooth and creamy.
The catalyst for this has been baby yoga. Because baby yoga is basically playing with your baby, and doesn't involve any prep or fuss, it helped me far more to relax and bond than baby massage did.
On the other hand, I've been getting into music again. I hated singing in public (long story), but now I'm singing to her all the time. I'm even considering buying a piano. It doesn't have to be expensive; I'm eyeing a keyboard that plays a bit like a piano. Let's face it, I'm never going to be a concert pianist. I had 11 years of lessons, you know. Time to share some music with my baby, and to get back into the groove. The catalyst was her Symphony in Motion mobile. I heard two of the pieces and you know - I used to be able to play them.
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no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 08:39 pm (UTC)I think that's probably all she really needs at this point, especially in the cold winter weather. Too much bathing can dry out a baby's thin skin. :)
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Date: 2005-11-11 11:33 pm (UTC)I'm a bad mother, at fist aid today I strangled the choking baby I had to resuss, thank goodness it was plastic. And I know not to hold my children by the neck!
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Date: 2005-11-11 09:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-12 10:44 am (UTC)I need to get my keyboard out and practice too. m ybrothe rhas a piano (perh is in-laws who ketphe one she inherited form her grandparents until they got ahosueto fiti t in, whic his now.)adnanyway,i'd lvoe to usei to pla ysometimeswhen I'm over there buti needto get ahando nhaving some songs to work wit hfirst.
yeah. i'l never be adissciplined professional pianist but it's fu nto do it.
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Date: 2005-11-13 09:21 pm (UTC)