pregancy rant

[percival]

ok, so Tracey Emin (British artist) is finally ready to have a baby at forty. Her biological clock is ticking. Meanwhile, Jennifer Aniston keeps putting motherhood off for career reasons and because she has some unfinished business with her mother, who she feels betrayed her. Jennifer is, like, 33 or 34. She'll get started in the next two years, she says. Would make her 35 or 36. (Memo to Jen: being underweight doesn't help conception.)

As a 28-year-old who once thought that babies could be planned and timed, I'm shaking my head in disbelief, I really am. I really hope that when these two get down to trying for a baby, they get lucky soon. Because the wait is agonising. My period is due in 2-3 days time, and I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll probably not be a mum at Christmas. I just hope and pray I'm pregnant in a year's time. I'm much better than I used to be, thanks to the support we get from friends and family, but it's still disheartening when the 14-day wait draws to a close and you're yearning to find out if something has implanted or not. Gaaah.

Comments

Good Vibes to you

[swampfaye.livejournal.com]

My best wishes to you - I know it is really important to you. Is adoption an option? I only ask because it really is a wonderful gift to a child to be adopted - my father was adopted when he was 3. If my husband and I were financially stable, I would adopt.

Re: Good Vibes to you

[perceval.livejournal.com]

Well, it's more of an option than IVF, which I'd never do. But
it is a long wait, and I don't know if I'd be prepared to receive
a severely emotionally damaged / mentally ill child. Many of the children that
you get at age two-three are apparently severely damaged ... I'm still hoping
for us to luck out. Adopting an infant is out of the question ... that would
take too long.

percival

Re: Good Vibes to you

[swampfaye.livejournal.com]

You can adopt an older child that isn't mentally incapacitated. Children who are 5 and up have a very hard time being adopted - but they also warn you that these children also have high emotional needs and have a hard time adjusting to a "family."

Couldn't agree more

[acusa-dora.livejournal.com]

I think the media and to some extent physicians are telling women that it's okay to wait. I don't agree with that at all, but then, I found out when I was 29 that we weren't going to have biological children. The one procedure that might have helped us hadn't been developed in 1989 and I'm not sure I would have used it anyway. We adopted and I'll tell you, it was not easy, but we are very happy. I don't know how adoptions are handled in Scotland. I don't recommend fully open adoptions. I would not be comfortable with ongoing contact and contact with birth grandparents. That's why we didn't do it a second time--too much risk.

Good luck. I know what it's like to live by that calendar. I got teary just thinking about it. It sounds terribly hollow, but you do need lots of relaxation. My heart goes out to you. I will tell you that parenthood, however you get there, is worth it completely--even when you get that pre-teen attitude I've been getting lately! :)