Rachel Waddilove book
May. 25th, 2006 10:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
percivalRachel Waddilove's Baby book is currently making the rounds of the British press. Ms Waddilove is the maternity nurse to Gwyneth Paltrow's kids and has thirty years' experience plus three kids of her own. Looking at the press summaries of her book, what she recommends actually is the opposite of the parenting style that seems to fit DD and me.
- She recommends leaving newborn - NEWBORN - babies to cry for up to 20 minutes to settle themselves to sleep (when fed, swaddled, changed, and in their cot). Well, bring on Dr Harvey Karp, I say. I appreciate that there are some babies who need to grumble themselves to sleep, but leaving a newborn to cry for that long just ... jars with me. I do sometimes leave DD to cry, but that's during the day when I have to attend to something else, such as the kettle or the bathroom, and I usually call out to her to reassure her that Mummy's hearing her, even if I can't pick her up at once.
- She recommends feeding on a flexible routine, with feeds up to four hours apart during the day. That may work with bottle-fed babies, but it goes against everything I know about breastfeeding. Feeding on cue just makes physiological sense: If babies need more milk, and if they can't take that much milk at one sitting, because their stomachs are so small, they need to eat more frequently. And THEY tell you what they need when.
- She does not recommend co-sleeping at all, but it's worked extremely well for us.
While I agree with her that baby is not necessarily the "kingpin" of the household, and that other members also need their rest/relaxation/quality time, I do think that it's fine for a mum to focus on her tiny baby - especially as long as the baby is really tiny. Besides, I find that with a sling, baby can fit around you very well, too. (The number of times I've been to libraries or fed DD in a bookstore ...)
I also appreciate that there are some mother/baby pairs for whom co-sleeping doesn't work, babies who thrive on a rigid routie, babies who need to fuss themselves to sleep. My point is rather that NOT ALL BABIES ARE THE SAME. What works for us is roughly Dr Sears' approach to parenting.
I'm still undecided as to whether she's in the same league as Gary Ezzo's Babywise though. BLERGH. When it comes to routines, I find the Babywhisperer Tracy Hogg more realistic and useful ... Time for me to delve into some books tha t look at the science of parenting. Katie pointed me to an interesting book, and I think I might also get Margot Sunderland's latest.
- She recommends leaving newborn - NEWBORN - babies to cry for up to 20 minutes to settle themselves to sleep (when fed, swaddled, changed, and in their cot). Well, bring on Dr Harvey Karp, I say. I appreciate that there are some babies who need to grumble themselves to sleep, but leaving a newborn to cry for that long just ... jars with me. I do sometimes leave DD to cry, but that's during the day when I have to attend to something else, such as the kettle or the bathroom, and I usually call out to her to reassure her that Mummy's hearing her, even if I can't pick her up at once.
- She recommends feeding on a flexible routine, with feeds up to four hours apart during the day. That may work with bottle-fed babies, but it goes against everything I know about breastfeeding. Feeding on cue just makes physiological sense: If babies need more milk, and if they can't take that much milk at one sitting, because their stomachs are so small, they need to eat more frequently. And THEY tell you what they need when.
- She does not recommend co-sleeping at all, but it's worked extremely well for us.
While I agree with her that baby is not necessarily the "kingpin" of the household, and that other members also need their rest/relaxation/quality time, I do think that it's fine for a mum to focus on her tiny baby - especially as long as the baby is really tiny. Besides, I find that with a sling, baby can fit around you very well, too. (The number of times I've been to libraries or fed DD in a bookstore ...)
I also appreciate that there are some mother/baby pairs for whom co-sleeping doesn't work, babies who thrive on a rigid routie, babies who need to fuss themselves to sleep. My point is rather that NOT ALL BABIES ARE THE SAME. What works for us is roughly Dr Sears' approach to parenting.
I'm still undecided as to whether she's in the same league as Gary Ezzo's Babywise though. BLERGH. When it comes to routines, I find the Babywhisperer Tracy Hogg more realistic and useful ... Time for me to delve into some books tha t look at the science of parenting. Katie pointed me to an interesting book, and I think I might also get Margot Sunderland's latest.
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no subject
Date: 2006-05-25 10:38 pm (UTC)Amen to that! I was reading some "expert" advice yesterday about toddler diets and picky eaters, and had much the same reaction as you. My son has multiple food aversions -- which puts him quite a step beyond just a "picky eater" -- and the tactics they offered would be completely ineffective with him. So yeah, I'm all for trusting the mum-instinct, and doing what feels right for you and your child. :)
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Date: 2006-05-26 04:44 am (UTC)I'm also with you on the letting them cry it out thing. I couldn't bear to listen to it for 20 minutes, not when they're itty bitty and not when there are two of them. I needed to scoop them up and comfort them (if for no other reason than to get them quiet before they woke the other). ;)
thanks...
Date: 2006-05-26 11:22 am (UTC)one niggle... sorry... the link is a little broken...
Re: thanks...
Date: 2006-05-27 05:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-26 10:06 pm (UTC)I alwa yfelt scaredato read tonns of boosk about soething becaus itnheend every action form me woudl rely onall kidns ofacts I leanred. it jsut feelsstrange. and it's confusignto know the's lieka zillin diffferent baby books with contraadicting tips too.