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percivalA couple of days ago, during the small Creationism debate on my LJ, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dr_c asked me where I got my ethics from - whether it derived from God or from humanism. I've been pondering that question ever since, and today, a chance reading has finally led me to the answer.
See, I strongly believe that the God of Christians is the same Divine Being that Muslims, Jews, Baha'i and Sikhs worship. God manifested Herself (mary, mary, quite contrary) in different ways for different people at different times. As a Christian, I believe that She manifested Herself particularly clearly in a Jew called Jesus, who lived around 30 CE (Common Era). But how does She guide us? (*)
Today, in my bathtub, reading a small book, I found the answer that confirmed my own experience: There is a divine spark in every single one of us. If you fall silent, and listen, you can see the spark, and its light will guide you.
Thy will be done. The most powerful prayer I've ever said.
*** *** ***
The book was a small book on Quaker wisdom by a former headmaster of Sidwell Friends School, Robert Lawrence Smith. In its pages, I found the form that my belief in Christ had taken after I'd been introduced to Buddhism. Truthful, conscientious, nonviolent. Living from direct experience, striving for simplicity, discarding doctrinal baggage. Listening. Loving.
*** *** ***
Why should I let my experience of Buddhism influence my take on Christianity? Well, what I've seen and heard of Buddhism so far is consistent with the spark that's within me. I sensed from the moment I first sat down on my meditation cushion that this was the path I needed to take if I wanted to use my time on earth wisely. Becoming a Buddhist has enabled me to see Christianity and Christ himself in a new light. Reading Sylvia Boorstein's "That's Funny, You Don't Look Buddhist" has shown me that Buddhism can help you beat a path to God. And now Quakerism has shown me a way of fully integrating my Christian heritage with my new convictions.
*** *** ***
Will I tell my parents? Probably some time next year. Why this reticence, if Quakers are so fond of telling the Truth? Well, because my parents are already suffering immensely from the spatial separation between us. If I now add another dimension to this separation, becoming a Quaker, they will feel the gulf between us widen, when in fact it is getting narrower when I can tell them what I really believe.
I still value my Catholic heritage - the Rosary, Catholic spirituality, saints, the Virgin, the music, Mass, and I will attend from time to time. But my real denomination, if you will, is Quaker.
*** *** ***
What about any kids? They will be raised as Catholics, because I firmly believe that Catholicism, which is colourful, lively, rich, vibrant, is a good place to start. I find that the sacraments and the ritual help me connect with God. The silent worship of Quakerism is for me a matter of choice. However, the kids' education will strongly emphasise Quaker values: truth, love, compassion, non-violence, developing and listening to your own conscience.
*** *** ***
Whew, this was a long entry, triggered by a bathtime evening revelation. This book had been sitting on my shelf for weeks. It was a library book, picked up out of curiosity. I chose it tonight because I could not find the book by Lama Surya Das about spirituality that I am currently reading. And now I'm scared, because I fully know that I will need to make a real change to my life as a Christian. Add to that the changes I face at work, leaving a somewhat lucrative industry career for a less lucrative and secure academic career, and investigations into training as a massage therapist, which would be my first real step towards a career outside language and speech, which would land me in the hateful situation of being examined again, and which would cost me a wad of money, I'm scared shitless.
*** *** ***
Breathe in, breathe out. Follow your breath. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.
Good night.
____
(*) I actually believe that God transcends gender. This is what I wish to express with the feminine pronouns.
dr_c asked me where I got my ethics from - whether it derived from God or from humanism. I've been pondering that question ever since, and today, a chance reading has finally led me to the answer. See, I strongly believe that the God of Christians is the same Divine Being that Muslims, Jews, Baha'i and Sikhs worship. God manifested Herself (mary, mary, quite contrary) in different ways for different people at different times. As a Christian, I believe that She manifested Herself particularly clearly in a Jew called Jesus, who lived around 30 CE (Common Era). But how does She guide us? (*)
Today, in my bathtub, reading a small book, I found the answer that confirmed my own experience: There is a divine spark in every single one of us. If you fall silent, and listen, you can see the spark, and its light will guide you.
Thy will be done. The most powerful prayer I've ever said.
*** *** ***
The book was a small book on Quaker wisdom by a former headmaster of Sidwell Friends School, Robert Lawrence Smith. In its pages, I found the form that my belief in Christ had taken after I'd been introduced to Buddhism. Truthful, conscientious, nonviolent. Living from direct experience, striving for simplicity, discarding doctrinal baggage. Listening. Loving.
*** *** ***
Why should I let my experience of Buddhism influence my take on Christianity? Well, what I've seen and heard of Buddhism so far is consistent with the spark that's within me. I sensed from the moment I first sat down on my meditation cushion that this was the path I needed to take if I wanted to use my time on earth wisely. Becoming a Buddhist has enabled me to see Christianity and Christ himself in a new light. Reading Sylvia Boorstein's "That's Funny, You Don't Look Buddhist" has shown me that Buddhism can help you beat a path to God. And now Quakerism has shown me a way of fully integrating my Christian heritage with my new convictions.
*** *** ***
Will I tell my parents? Probably some time next year. Why this reticence, if Quakers are so fond of telling the Truth? Well, because my parents are already suffering immensely from the spatial separation between us. If I now add another dimension to this separation, becoming a Quaker, they will feel the gulf between us widen, when in fact it is getting narrower when I can tell them what I really believe.
I still value my Catholic heritage - the Rosary, Catholic spirituality, saints, the Virgin, the music, Mass, and I will attend from time to time. But my real denomination, if you will, is Quaker.
*** *** ***
What about any kids? They will be raised as Catholics, because I firmly believe that Catholicism, which is colourful, lively, rich, vibrant, is a good place to start. I find that the sacraments and the ritual help me connect with God. The silent worship of Quakerism is for me a matter of choice. However, the kids' education will strongly emphasise Quaker values: truth, love, compassion, non-violence, developing and listening to your own conscience.
*** *** ***
Whew, this was a long entry, triggered by a bathtime evening revelation. This book had been sitting on my shelf for weeks. It was a library book, picked up out of curiosity. I chose it tonight because I could not find the book by Lama Surya Das about spirituality that I am currently reading. And now I'm scared, because I fully know that I will need to make a real change to my life as a Christian. Add to that the changes I face at work, leaving a somewhat lucrative industry career for a less lucrative and secure academic career, and investigations into training as a massage therapist, which would be my first real step towards a career outside language and speech, which would land me in the hateful situation of being examined again, and which would cost me a wad of money, I'm scared shitless.
*** *** ***
Breathe in, breathe out. Follow your breath. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.
Good night.
____
(*) I actually believe that God transcends gender. This is what I wish to express with the feminine pronouns.
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-07 01:26 am (UTC)See, I've always felt that there is, as you describe, an 'inner spark'... and I've believed that religion has been a mechanism, a path, by which people may find that spark. A path, of many possible routes.
It's really hard for me to try and explain that whilst I don't believe in God personally, I'm not attempting to foist my (lack of beliefs) upon anyone else, nor should my atheism be seen as criticism of other people's devotion.
(now you see why I don't normally jump into these kind of threads)
I do think, however, that the more extreme, fundamentalist variants of the main religions have blurred the distinction between medium and message, and end up worshipping the structure of their religion, rather than its message.