spiritual guidance

[percival]

as I was replying to brightfame's comment to my last entry, something struck me.

The reason I'm scared of Catholic Mass is that I'm afraid of being lost at sea with the issues it brings up in me. Now, priests should be there for you in such situations, to give guidance, right?

Well, I got the guidance I needed from a priest (thanks again, seraphimsigrist, for your invaluable LiveJournal ministry!), but was I tempted to ask one of the priests who were saying Mass, the one who waited outside to greet the flock who was streaming out of the church?

Nope.

See, I've this ingrained belief that Priests Should Not Be Bothered.

Priests are remote people who say Mass, thunder at you from the pulpit, and are Too Busy to Talk to You. They are not the first port of call with any spiritual difficulties, or the person I would instinctively turn to when I need to talk about lost hope.

In contrast, the godo (=group leader) of my Buddhist Sangha is always there for us when we need him. He has even completed a one-year foundation course in Buddhist Psychotherapy in order to be able to offer us better support with the issues that can come up during meditation.

What is your experience?

(cross-posted to catholicism & own LJ)

Comments

[aome.livejournal.com]

I stopped a priest after Mass to say how much I'd enjoyed the homily. Turned out it largely came from a publication priests receive that have homily ideas in them. He offered to send me a copy, if I called the Parish office and left my mailing information. And he did.

My best friend's younger brother is a priest, so I see very well that they're just regular people, really. I keep my distance a little when he's "in office" versus just over for dinner, but still - I have called on him here and there for things. That's his *job*. And he has always been there.

We also approached a priest at the point that we wanted to join the Church, and get married, and he met and talked with us. And my husband had some things on his mind but didn't want to do it in the typical Confessional setting, so he asked to sit down with one of the priests, and that went all right.

[narcissam.livejournal.com]

The trouble with being a Catholic is that it is not an "elite" spirituality. You're in there with everyone and their neighbour. And the priest as well. You didn't choose them. They didn't choose you. It's not at all guaranteed that anyone will click, so to say.

I have had the immense luck the last year to have a wonderful priest at our parish, who one could approach. He had a doctorate in philosophy, and had been a professor at a well-respected university before he 'retired.' His new replacement is almost equally as a wonderful.

But before that we had a nutcase who lectured us every Sunday about how we weren't being happy enough! Yelled at us, is more the word. He finally got stress leave, thank God. Over almost twenty-one years of being a Catholic, a good many of the priests I have had to deal with were a complete scandal. They weren't bad men, but they were variously stupid, silly, or petty.

What to do? For spiritual direction, I go to a priest whom I have known since I was a little kid, a very wise man who is not a parish priest. While there's a good deal to be said, I think, for the fact that Catholicism makes you enter into common cause with everyone, not just the people who would suit you, there's another aspect of Catholicism, the time-honoured idea of personal spiritual direction.

A spiritual director is usually a priest, and they're most easy to find, though an educated layman is also completely acceptable. He or she should should be someone who knows about their faith, has good judgement of character, clicks with you etc. I have benefited very much from spiritual direction since I asked for it a year ago.

Someone who you can trust to talk to about these things can be difficult to find, but the best way may be to ask other Catholics. I know this has worked for me, when I needed someone to talk to.

Anyway, just some thoughts from a life-long Catholic,

NM