Insight at Quaker Meeting

[percival]

So I'm currently refusing with all my might to bend to my parents' will. Yet the gift that seems to be coming through, the gift of healing, requires me to submit to God's will. For a long time, this has been my only and most powerful prayer: Thy will be done.

But do I really want to do God's will? Do I really trust Him to lead me well?

That might be what's preventing me from a regular meditation practice, from a regular self-healing practice. If I give spiritual development a larger place in my life than weekly attendance at zazen and Quaker Meeting, where will it take me? What will a "whole" Perceval do that a "broken" one can avoid quite nicely, thank you very much?
Living adventurously, which is what Quakers believe we are supposed to do, isn't just fun, it's also painful, scary, and downright unsettling.

And yet there's this quote in "Towards Wholeness", the newsletter of the Friends' Fellowship of Healing, that struck me:

"We are not all required to do the same tasks in life, nor the impossible, but to respond genuinely to one another and to use our talents well. Or, if you are a Harry Potter fan, Dumbledore explains to Harry, "it's not our abilities that show what we truly are - it's our choices."" (Joolz Saunders, Transforming Light, in: Towards Wholeness 107, p. 5)

Comments

wow!!

[cerise-noir.livejournal.com]

It's always amazing to see somoone else echo your state of being. My dear friend you've just articulated to the tea a conflict I was experiencing a few weeks ago. I huge change occured in my life and I was at a complete loss as to how exactly it could be God's will for me to not have the thing i held most dear to me. How was it that my whole sense of self was changing right before my eyes. Things i thought i understood clearly, things I wanted to do suddenly seemed out of wack. It was a frightening, sad and extremely lonely time. I question God's order of the day seriously and was not feeling like going anywhere. Nothing made sense and I didn't have much reason to do much, including live. I know you may not have the same dramatics as i but the truth is, living didn't make sense to me.

But then the voice of God through my friends and family came through to me clearly. They were all saying the same thing. Be still and calm down, and just listen to what's happening around you. I decided to take a moment of stillness. I committed to the meditation because I knew it heals me, both physically and mentally. When i meditate my physical pains go away even for a little while (during the course of the meditation). Then i noticed that I was praying; and then i noticed what i was praying from. It's been almost a month of my struggling with trusting God and the "randomness" of life. But i have been never been able to let go of the saying. "It's all God's will." And since i know my God is a loving, kind God who doesn't want me to suffer (some people believe otherwise) I have to let go and surrender to things happening around me, and you know what it's not so bad after all.

I am at a place of comfort in my life that i've never experienced before. Very little fear and what fears i do have i am recognising and sorting out. I pray you come to trust God, because the truth is he's an awesome one, and we may not see his divine design for us immedeately but if we are patient and let him work it out, he will. Of this I am very sure.

Love & Light

Re: wow!!

[perceval.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's a long hard struggle, and it's not always nice. Thank goodness you made it through!

:)

Re: wow!!

[brightfame.livejournal.com]

Living adventurously, which is what Quakers believe we are supposed to do, isn't just fun, it's also painful, scary, and downright unsettling.

Mmm-hmm. Trusting God is scary. I have to work very hard at it every day. Sometimes it leads through the valley of the shadow. Sometimes it leads to the mountaintop. Keep striving.