family size
Jul. 15th, 2003 09:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
percivalcross posted from the Quill
I'd like as many children as I can have, for several reasons:
- I'm an only child, and my parents are quite fixated on me; they are lonely people, and they would never consider going into an old people's home. So I am about to start training as a holistic therapist to make sure I can create a job for myself at home if I need to in a couple of years time, because I will have to be the one to see them through their old age. I have NO cousins, aunts or uncles to help me, because my parents are only children themselves.
Parents of only children, set them free. Please don't expect them to look after you and provide for you, or if you do expect that, be flexible in where you live out your life. make sure they can be independent. They will care for you tenderly if they need to, but if they do not feel *forced* to be there for you, your relationship will be all the richer and closer for it.
- My husband and I are having fertility problems at the moment. I am 29. By the time my first comes along, I will be 30 or 31. If we take into account the normal sex life slump after child birth, and the fact that it will have taken us ages to conceive number one, I figure that we will end up with two or three children by the time I become completely infertile. I'm now so desperate that I'm ready to accept every child as a blessing from God. Thy will be done.
- I was a lonely child, and would have loved to have brothers and sisters. As a kid, I wanted to have at least four kids.
Finally, for all those parents of only kids who keep getting told that their kids will miss out or be socially challenged: PM me and I will give you some references with which you can SMAX them scientifically.
I'd like as many children as I can have, for several reasons:
- I'm an only child, and my parents are quite fixated on me; they are lonely people, and they would never consider going into an old people's home. So I am about to start training as a holistic therapist to make sure I can create a job for myself at home if I need to in a couple of years time, because I will have to be the one to see them through their old age. I have NO cousins, aunts or uncles to help me, because my parents are only children themselves.
Parents of only children, set them free. Please don't expect them to look after you and provide for you, or if you do expect that, be flexible in where you live out your life. make sure they can be independent. They will care for you tenderly if they need to, but if they do not feel *forced* to be there for you, your relationship will be all the richer and closer for it.
- My husband and I are having fertility problems at the moment. I am 29. By the time my first comes along, I will be 30 or 31. If we take into account the normal sex life slump after child birth, and the fact that it will have taken us ages to conceive number one, I figure that we will end up with two or three children by the time I become completely infertile. I'm now so desperate that I'm ready to accept every child as a blessing from God. Thy will be done.
- I was a lonely child, and would have loved to have brothers and sisters. As a kid, I wanted to have at least four kids.
Finally, for all those parents of only kids who keep getting told that their kids will miss out or be socially challenged: PM me and I will give you some references with which you can SMAX them scientifically.
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-15 09:53 am (UTC)As for family size, I already commented at the Quill, but there are a few things you brought up I'd like to add to.
Parents of only children, set them free
Parents of ANY children, onlies or multiples, set them free. For God's sake, set them FREE. Some children, despite having siblings, are relied on for care and decisions just because of their personality. It's not fair to the child. It's not fair to the siblings. It's not fair to anybody.
I was a lonely child
I have a sister and I was still a lonely child. It's part of being the youngest. She shunted me aside because I was too little or she just didn't want me around because I was her little sister. We did not have a good relationship growing up, and now we only get along if we live 1500 miles away... or spend less than 3 days together. More than 3 days and we go back to the old sibling rivalry that we always had. And we are voracious at it.
Jeff has a sister 4 years younger than him (and scarily enough, she's 2 weeks younger than me) and a brother 6 years younger than him. He was always lonely because they would play together and gang up against him. And his parents never did much since it was just sibling rivalry and "they can work it out themselves". He was very different in personality from his two siblings and therefore could not really play with them as a kid. They get along alright now, but it took until Jeff was 26 and married with a kid, his sister 22 and married, and his brother 19 and leaving for the military to get them to stop fighting.
Siblings are not always, in fact, usually not, all they are cracked up to be. You can be just as lonely having a sibling as you are without one. I was a much calmer and less stressful adolescant only once my sister went away for university. I have found that to be true in most (not all, some have a perfectly lovely relationship throughout their lives) people with siblings.
Finally, for all those parents of only kids who keep getting told that their kids will miss out or be socially challenged: PM me and I will give you some references with which you can SMAX them scientifically.
I'm VERY interested in this, as nearly everyone I know asks when I'm going to give Alex a brother or sister. :)