How much do you value your family?

[percival]

My husband's younger brother and his wife were not at our wedding. They had already used up their holiday allowance, in full knowledge that we were getting married later that year, and did not want to come from Italy to Germany to see hubby and me get married.
Too stressful.

Then, my sister-in-law started teasing me who would be first to give our mother-in-law a grand child, roughly eight months into the infertility saga. She did not know that we were trying to conceive; I was really offended. Apparently, she thought that I as a career woman did not want babies.

She fell pregnant right away. They had their baby, a cute little girl, born with hydrocephalus, in February.

Now, they've scheduled the christening in three weeks' time (her husband is away a lot, so they can't really plan far ahead). It's on a Sunday, which is bad news for anybody who tries to commute from abroad. Plus, I have a lecture to give on Monday.

Common sense would dictate that I don't go. It's very expensive, at least £100 per head, plus a rental car; easily £400 for the two of us - for a weekend.

On the other hand, my niece will be christened. Who knows if and when I'll be able to see my own kid get christened?

(No, neither of us have been asked to be a godparent.)

Comments

[intuitionist.livejournal.com]

My struggles with family used to result in an imbalance of giving - I did all of it, partly out of a sense of hope that a relationship I longed for would evolve, partly out a sense of duty.

Things never changed, I grew weary, and angry, and let things fall by the wayside. I felt more peace after that. I suppose it's different in every case, but never an easy path to navigate.

And the questions about "having babies?" are so insensitive. People need to be reminded of this.